Thistle – The Quietly Brave One

🦔 The Story of Thistle

Thistle was a little hedgehog who lived beneath a large fern near the edge of the woodland.

She was curious about everything around her, but she was also very good at knowing when she needed to retreat into her cosy little space.

The other woodland creatures sometimes wondered why Thistle didn’t always want to join in . . .

Why she sometimes needed quiet - Why she sometimes said : “Not right now.”

But Thistle knew something they were still learning . . . “Knowing what you need doesn’t mean you don’t want to be involved.”

Sometimes, it meant you wanted to be able to take part in a way that worked for you . . .

“Thistle is quietly brave, showing us that being cautious, taking your time and protecting your boundaries can all be part of moving forward.”

One day, Rowyn asked Thistle to join a busy gathering in the middle of the woodland  -There were lots of creatures talking, Lots of sounds, Lots of things happening at once.

Thistle looked around & thought : “I think I need somewhere quieter.”

Rowyn wondered whether Thistle was avoiding everyone  - But before making an assumption, Rowyn asked : “What would make it easier for you to join us ?”

Thistle thought . . .
“Maybe I could sit at the edge. And perhaps they could give me the information beforehand.”

So that’s what they did - And Thistle joined the gathering.

Not because she had been persuaded to tolerate something that didn’t work for her, But because the woodland had changed something that made participation possible . . .

Thistle became very good at saying what she needed.

Sometimes that meant : “Can you explain that differently ?”

Occasionally : “I need a little more time.”

At times : “That’s too much information at once.”

From time to time : “I don’t understand.”

And sometimes :  “No, that isn’t right for me.”

The other creatures gradually discovered that Thistle’s “no” wasn’t  difficult behaviour.

It was information - It helped them understand what would make the relationship work better . . .

Thistle became the Woodland Family’s little reminder that self-advocacy is part of independence and autonomy.

She understood that being supported doesn’t mean someone else always speaks for you.

Often the most important thing a person can develop is the confidence to say :

What they need
What works for them
What doesn’t work
What they want to change
What support they need
What they don’t want
What matters to them

Thistle also understood that self-advocacy doesn’t mean having to explain or justify everything.

A person can say : “This doesn’t work for me.” - Without having to prove that their need is important enough . . .

Thistle represents self-advocacy, boundaries and communicating needs - She reminds mentors that when a mentee says :

“I need a break.”
“I'm not sure I understand.”
“Can we do this differently ?”

Or . . .

“I don’t want to do that.”

The response doesn’t have to be to persuade them back onto the mentor’s preferred path.

It can be :

“Tell me what would work better.”

And that is an important shift.
Because the aim isn’t simply to help someone become able to cope with our way of doing things.

It’s to help them develop the confidence and agency to understand what works for them and communicate that to others . . .

“Thistle reminds us that saying what you need is not being difficult. It is a way of taking ownership of your own participation.”

And her little motto :

“It’s okay to say what you need.”

🦔 Thistle - The Self-Advocate

I think Thistle adds a really important piece to the family !

And I particularly love Thistle alongside belonging : She shows that creating belonging isn’t simply about inviting someone into the room. It’s about making it possible for them to participate as themselves. 🌿💚

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do"
Confucius